Let’s be real, you don’t really want to hear a detailed account of my year but this blog isn’t just about good books and delicious food; it’s also about my life. I’ll try to keep it as brief as I possibly can though, for your benefit. Just like the second season of The Vicar of Dibley, this post comes to you in the four seasons.
Summer round one was an interesting time. New Year’s Eve was excellent and I loved getting to start 2014 surrounded by my best friends – the same friends (mostly) that I’ve started all the years with since 2008. For me, it was a bit tarnished because as the clock struck 12, I was so very aware that the year was going to bring a lot of sadness for me and my family. Many people think that they would like to know how long they have – and I agree, for the most part, it’s good knowing how much time you have left with someone, so that you can make the most of that time and hopefully have no regrets, but it also means that you are painfully aware of all the ‘lasts’. That’s what summer was full of for us; ‘lasts’.
Do not misunderstand me, I had a lot of great, fun times. The summer was full of family and friends and I got to lead some of the best girls I know at a church camp(ish): I often find I learn myself learning from them a lot, and this year was no different. I also spent a lot of time working on this blog. I couldn’t get a summer job or an internship for various reasons, so I poured my spare time into making this blog what I wanted it to be – I guess you can be the judge of whether I was successful?
What a doozy, right from the word go. The first week of Autumn, I went back to uni and it was that same week when Dad’s health properly began to deteriorate – that was when things got very difficult, although there were occasions when it was extremely manageable.
I entered my twenties on the first of April and then, of course as I have written previously, we lost Dad on the second. I don’t feel like dwelling on that for too long, but I think you can understand the impact that it has had on my life ever since. I’m a totally different person from the one I was just a mere year and one month ago.
Besides the obvious effects, it reminded me of how great my friends are. I’m not one to ask for help but my friends totally get me and let me do what I wanted to do and somehow knew exactly what to say and how to treat me, without me ever really needing to tell them anything in particular. They never judged me for any of the decisions I made. Even when other people were thinking (and often saying out loud) that I was doing the wrong thing, my friends were always supporting me and that’s one of the greatest things to happen to me all year.
I bought an iPhone in autumn and got to go to my friends’ lovely wedding; I spent two nights in Katoomba (at KYCK) in VERY cold and windy weather. I also went on lots of ice cream dates with some of my best friends. My family also took a trip to South Australia which was a good break – something I think we all needed.
Most of my first semester happened within Autumn and let me just tell you it was the most difficult semester I EVER had. Not only was the work 100000% harder, I had my first awful group project experience, for a while there I was working double my usual shifts and all my other life changes were just messing me around big time. I had approximately 300000 breakdowns and was exhausted ALL OF THE TIME. I literally couldn’t wait for it to end.
Some people find winter depressing but I am not one of those people; this year especially. I got my wisdom teeth out in June which caused me a bit of grief, with bad reactions to the antibiotics, I was house bound for the duration of those meds and it wasn’t until a week after they finished that I could even remotely eat properly again. This doesn’t even worry me that much (although it may concern the people who received my haggard Snapchats) because it just meant a whole lot of movies and books (when I could keep my head up) and a lot of apple sauce with ice cream.
The 21st season really started to kick off in winter and I’m not really a party person, but if I’m going to be outside in a stupid costume, it might as well be in winter, when I’m not sweating my face off.
Winter in general was fairly uneventful but that’s kind of the way I like it. Of course, I started my last semester of uni at the end of winter, but I think that’s a topic for spring.
Spring was an amazing roller-coaster of emotions. A café worker called me ma’am, I saw Sara Barielles live and I met my favourite author – Jaclyn Moriarty.
It was my final semester of my 3 year Bachelor’s Degree in Communication and Media Studies – some people dub this the new arts degree but I don’t really care because I learnt so much about things that I’m genuinely interested in and it’s given me so much enthusiasm for a future career and it’s made me realise that my skills aren’t useless and that there is plenty of demand for them.
I also made the decision to take a gap year in 2015, something I will no doubt tell you about in another post in the coming weeks.
Emotionally, this was definitely my weirdest season. I get weird and lonely and a bit dangerously introverted when I have nothing to do. Of course, I was still working, but my free time just got a whole lot freer and the prospect of literally being on holidays for the next year of my life was a bit daunting at first. Spring was also a time when I made the least progress on my New Year’s resolutions of last year. I promised myself that I would love more but I found myself being spiteful and mean to a lot of people – not always to their face (which is worse, sometimes) but often I was ignoring people who really didn’t deserve to be ignored. This didn’t contribute very well to my mood considering I was a) driving people away, b) being an awful person and c) spending a lot of my free time thinking about it and feeling crap about it.
Thankfully, God has helped me to work past that little weird blip that I had and I HOPE I’m working a bit harder now to fix the things I messed up and also start being nice and loving to people again.
This summer really has only just begun, but I’ve loved it so far. December has been full of storms, which you know I love and the festive season has been great – albeit a bit empty without Dad. I haven’t hated the heat as much as usual and I loved the first half of the month at work – being able to solely focus on the kids without any uni work looming over my head is quite fun (even though it tries my patience A LOT). Of course, right now with the school holidays I have no income so I’m feeling the strain and adventures over the summer are looking less likely, but I’m really, really looking forward to tomorrow, and next year in general.
To paraphrase my good friend Anne Shirley (for the millionth time this year) tomorrow is a new year with NO mistakes in it. That makes me happy.