The IDGAF approach is just not for me

The IDGAF approach is just not for me

Ah, the IDGAF attitude. It’s everywhere! From best-selling books to Top 40 hits, it’s permeating every area of our lives. I notice it more and more in the conversations I have too. I’m a very anxious being and honestly, 5 or 6 times a week someone will ask me why I care so much about what other people think of me. It’s a valid point, I guess, sometimes I worry about it so much it becomes paralysing.

I do want to say that I understand that it’s not about not caring at all about anything – there are plenty of people I know in life who have the IDGAF attitude and make it work without being completely indifferent, insensitive twits. I also understand the whole IDGAF approach, I get why it’s popular. I mean, imagine being able to just go about life without coming to a screeching halt every time something inconvenient or anxiety-inducing happens? Sounds liberating to me. I say ‘imagine’ because I have certainly never experienced it in real life.

I think I struggle with the idea because I’m an ‘all or nothing’ kind of gal. I either need to care and worry about everything ever or not care about anything at all. Even though I understand the concept for other people, it doesn’t compute with my own approach to things, so to me it sounds like a little bit of a double-edged sword. Sure, if I started not giving two hoots about everything, I wouldn’t care that the little bit of hair on the left side of my head kicks out at a stupid angle every day of my life but would I also become the kind of person shows up at events even though they never bothered to RSVP? I might decide that I don’t care what people think of me at the beach and actually go swimming for the first time in … a long time… but then would I become the kind of person who didn’t indicate when driving? Would I just throw up my hands and say ‘Ah well! Who cares?!’

There are a lot of times in my life when I wish I didn’t care quite so much about what people think of me. It’s one of those times where the incorrect “I could care less” is actually true. In fact a lot of the time my anxiety about other people’s opinions actually stops me from doing what I would really like to do. So of course, in those moments I really do wish I were the kind of person who could say “IDGAF” and mean it. But the simple fact of the matter is that I’m not.

I can’t turn the worrying off like a tap, so for now, I’m quite happy checking the menu a million times before heading to brunch so I can order with confidence and not hold anyone else up. I am quite happy to wear a cardigan every day of my life because I don’t like the way I look without one. Maybe one day I’ll start to care a little less and say “IDGAF” but for now, don’t expect me to change my name to Dua Lipa anytime soon

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