A (Very Sincere) Happy Valentine’s Day

A (Very Sincere) Happy Valentine’s Day

There are a lot of reasons I dislike Valentine’s day – I mean, it makes no sense that you’re all out there buying overpriced flowers and chocolate – but I have never hated Valentine’s Day because I am single. Quite frankly, if you think that single people should be excluded from Valentine’s Day, I haven’t got time for you and you should probably leave because you’re part of the problem. And, as a lifelong singleton, I think I’m pretty qualified to talk about that (got more to come on this, boy have I got some stories).

There hasn’t been a year that’s gone by where I haven’t had someone ask me if it bothers me that I’m single on Valentine’s Day. “Oh you must be so frustrated after all these years.” “One day you can enjoy Valentine’s Day.” I’ve honestly heard it all.

People expect that, just because you are single, you will hate Valentine’s Day. They expect you to be miserable. It’s quite weird to walk around the world knowing that people expect you to be unhappy because you don’t have a significant other. And so many of us singletons play into it too, letting ourselves be despondent on Valentine’s Day, at weddings or whenever we watch a Rom-Com. Those movies are almost 95% of the reason we feel that way, by the way, but we can explore that later.

If you’ve been single at any family event, you know that one of the most common questions is about whether you’re dating anyone yet. For myself, I have had more conversations than I can count with people who have told me I would just be so much happier if I was in a relationship.

And that, is something that is dangerous. It’s dangerous for single people because it makes us believe that any happiness we’re having now is illegitimate. But it’s dangerous for all of you in relationships too.

I’ve never had a romantic relationship and my happiness has been up, down, sideways and then even further down than I ever thought it could go. But none of it had anything to do with my relationship status. Sure, a relationship might have thrown some other emotions in the mix – some good, of course, but also some bad. In fact, you know as well as I do, there are lots of ways a relationship (romantic or not) could be negatively affecting your life. Maybe it brings in a whole lot of negativity or maybe you’re just trying to mask internal issues that will keep bubbling over by pretending to the world that you’ve got it together.
I am a hopeless romantic – despite my track record – and I love that there are people out there who have found someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. So, even though I think the commercialised celebrations around Valentine’s Day are ridiculous, let’s not pretend that it has anything to do with the fact I’m single.

Romantic love is not the only kind of love. Maybe the love of your life is your dog, or your friends or even just a really big bowl of Pad Thai. Or MAYBE the love of your life is yourself. The world has tricked us into thinking only happy couples can celebrate Valentine’s Day but don’t let yourself be fooled. There’s still a few hours left, make some time to do something you love and celebrate the fact that love exists in so many different ways.

1 Comment

  1. Theresa Smith Writes February 15, 2019 / 7:31 am

    On point! I’m married but we’ve never gone in for the commercialisation.

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