I am an oversharer. It’s not a secret – I think that even the existence of this blog tells you that I love to talk, talk, talk. I love a good natter and, in the right circumstances, I will chat away into the sunset, often regretting how much information I’ve given up.
Most days, I keep up a running commentary through Snapchat/Messenger to my friends and when I get home I’ll give my family a play-by-play of the day. I’m aware that it’s kind of annoying but I have this compulsion to do it. I often tell myself it’s because I spend large chunks of my days on my own (often going to, from and being at work, but more frequently in my leisure time since I enjoy my own company) and I feel when something remotely interesting happens, it’s a shame that I have no one to tell. To make up for it, I tell EVERYONE, even the most mundane information
Most of the time, I know it’s pretty boring which makes it even more confusing as to why I do it. Then again, sometimes it’s not boring. I am a bit of a storyteller at heart (an icky statement but, I think, a true one) and when I feel angry (or happy or sad or ambivalent etc etc etc) I’ll tell the full story, even if the first incident happened back in 1999. I like to give the full picture.
I over-analyse everything – as I know many do – and therefore remember most things that annoy/confuse/upset me but I forget that some people can just move on from annoying things in life without needing to debrief.
The way I justify it to myself is that I feel it I’m always sharing everything, I’m being as authentic as possible. If I tell everyone, everything, all the time, I’m showing them how genuine I am. I know, when I lost my dad, I shared this blog post. The issue of being genuine was even mentioned way back then, 5 years ago. I wanted to share it but I also felt that I needed to so that it didn’t seem like I was hiding things away.
Really, it all comes down to the fact that I always feel the need to explain myself completely. But the more I read and the more I learn, the more I’m wondering whether this is just a mildly annoying character trait or if it’s something I’ve been conditioned to think. Is it something similar to the way I said ‘sorry’ to a man after he spilled his drink on ME? In that case, I’m so conditioned to think I shouldn’t take up space, that the fact that I might be upset, annoyed or hurt is irrelevant. Do I feel the need to explain everything because deep down I feel like my emotions are somehow invalid without a comprehensive explanation?
I don’t actually have an answer for this.
I’m trying to explain a little bit less. I’m trying to say ‘I feel crap’ or ‘I’m in a good mood today’ without going into a full-blown justification as to why I feel that way. Unless I’m asked, in which case I’ll rant for days. Still, sometimes a good story is welcome and needed but most of the time, I think a fact can be a fact.
Did I just write this blog post as another explanation of why I feel the way I feel? Look at that, failing already! Still, it’s been on my mind and I think that’s a good enough reason to talk it out.